[ river sees it as sunlight and lydia feels like it's fire. fire that came roaring from the tiny embers that were almost stomped out. fire that will burn peter hale once again. ]
Not really. [ there's still peter sitting there alive, but even when he tries to blow out the fire, he can't, it still stays roaring, inching closer and closer to him until— ] You understand this.
[ until the sky catches flame. what is a sun but self-sufficient fire? the perfect collision, a chain reaction of events that all lead to the brightest star in a system. to the spirit she'd lacked for a long time. ]
You found your feet, and now you're standing. You're almost there.
[ almost to the end of the beginning. next chapter just has to turn the page. ]
[ it's a fire that will forever burn bright until it puts itself out eventually. but lydia is young, just like the sun, she has time to burn and burn and destroy those who come too close. ]
You won't tell anyone, will you? The one who'd push me down needs to not know I'm standing. Not without his permission.
[ and she knows the importance of feet. barely found her own and still stumbling beneath the weight of things she can't see on her shoulders. good at keeping secrets because she doesn't know the things she knows - but river knows the sun intimately. she smiles. ]
Time to push back?
video » locked » faith you don't have to reply to this.
And you're maybe my favorite for being good at that.
[ it's true, in a way, the way she says that. because if she can say this and peter doesn't know that'll make it real and make it tangible and makes it possible for her to do these things. makes it possible for the sun to burn the wolf who dared defy her natural order. ]
Time to push back and burn. Maybe. I haven't decide if he'll really burn like he has before.
video » locked » but what if i want to ally what if i want this thread forever.
[ river just smiles sweetly, almost childishly; playing make-believe with the innocence not to know the difference and the experience to believe it anyway. ]
It's not the fire that burns, or the scars left behind. It's the one that lights the match.
[ lydia isn't wounded because a wolf tried to reach her insides. she was hurt because a man made it in and tried to take what wasn't his. if there's anything, anything river understands, it's that.
holding the match is what makes lydia stronger. ]
video » locked » well then we'll make it go into forever and i can see into forever rn
[ a man made it in and tried to take what wasn't his. it splits between them now, almost like warring sides, if lydia thinks about it too hard ( she doesn't because that means acknowledging again and again that she is not herself— she is not who she is supposed to be ). lydia just wants it back, wants everything back to normal because she needs it that way.
she needs a lot of things. this is the only one she can control. ( she thinks, and hopes. ]
And I have the match ready to be lit when I want to. I want to do it soon. I— I am not myself you see.
[ river ducks her head, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. hope. ]
I have - there are ... pieces. Missing. And some days, I think I have them. Some days, I know -
[ that she doesn't. that they were sliced away and they're not coming back, not ever. river can't be fixed. she can only be managed. ]
But I know I'm me. I know I have fingers and toes and they're mine, even when I don't know they're there. Still River.
[ she looks up then, a bit sheepish. hope is a foreign concept, but river exists in the spaces where concepts and reality blur into colours only she can see. lydia is red, and she burns like the sun. concepts in reality. ]
Even when you forget you hold the match. You're 'Lydia first.'
video » locked » only because you're helping make it that beautiful.
[ when they're being used for things that aren't what she wants to do, when she loses control over them because there's broken things ( uneven equations, improper formulas, cut off electric wires ) that make them impossible to completely control until they're fixed.
lydia's can be fixed, she knows this. knows that the pieces are there she just has to rearrange them back where they should be. the pieces are red and yellow and orange and make up a puzzle that is a sun. ( that is the poetic way to say it, reality is— not nearly as pretty. ) ]
I'm Lydia Martin. And I'm still me. No matter what happens. He can't take that away from me.
[ reality so rarely ever is, and river grins because she isn't, because reality is only just a concept to her now. she lives in a realm where poems and paintings can be touched and felt and dreamt just as any other. it's where she will find 'Lydia first.' ]
No matter what happens. You hold the match.
video » locked » we make the most beautiful threads. c:
[ it's then that lydia just smiles a true smile, one that she's not entirely sure she's smiled in a long time. because river's right. she holds the match. and that's all that really matters. ]
I'll come tell you when I toss the match. [ a beat. ] Thank you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
video » locked
No. [ there's a light. for now. lydia first. ] Are you?
video » locked
Not really. [ there's still peter sitting there alive, but even when he tries to blow out the fire, he can't, it still stays roaring, inching closer and closer to him until— ] You understand this.
video » locked
[ until the sky catches flame. what is a sun but self-sufficient fire? the perfect collision, a chain reaction of events that all lead to the brightest star in a system. to the spirit she'd lacked for a long time. ]
You found your feet, and now you're standing. You're almost there.
[ almost to the end of the beginning. next chapter just has to turn the page. ]
video » locked
You won't tell anyone, will you? The one who'd push me down needs to not know I'm standing. Not without his permission.
video » locked
[ and she knows the importance of feet. barely found her own and still stumbling beneath the weight of things she can't see on her shoulders. good at keeping secrets because she doesn't know the things she knows - but river knows the sun intimately. she smiles. ]
Time to push back?
video » locked » faith you don't have to reply to this.
[ it's true, in a way, the way she says that. because if she can say this and peter doesn't know that'll make it real and make it tangible and makes it possible for her to do these things. makes it possible for the sun to burn the wolf who dared defy her natural order. ]
Time to push back and burn. Maybe. I haven't decide if he'll really burn like he has before.
video » locked » but what if i want to ally what if i want this thread forever.
It's not the fire that burns, or the scars left behind. It's the one that lights the match.
[ lydia isn't wounded because a wolf tried to reach her insides. she was hurt because a man made it in and tried to take what wasn't his. if there's anything, anything river understands, it's that.
holding the match is what makes lydia stronger. ]
video » locked » well then we'll make it go into forever and i can see into forever rn
she needs a lot of things. this is the only one she can control. ( she thinks, and hopes. ]
And I have the match ready to be lit when I want to. I want to do it soon. I— I am not myself you see.
video » locked » and it is beautiful
I have - there are ... pieces. Missing. And some days, I think I have them. Some days, I know -
[ that she doesn't. that they were sliced away and they're not coming back, not ever. river can't be fixed. she can only be managed. ]
But I know I'm me. I know I have fingers and toes and they're mine, even when I don't know they're there. Still River.
[ she looks up then, a bit sheepish. hope is a foreign concept, but river exists in the spaces where concepts and reality blur into colours only she can see. lydia is red, and she burns like the sun. concepts in reality. ]
Even when you forget you hold the match. You're 'Lydia first.'
video » locked » only because you're helping make it that beautiful.
[ when they're being used for things that aren't what she wants to do, when she loses control over them because there's broken things ( uneven equations, improper formulas, cut off electric wires ) that make them impossible to completely control until they're fixed.
lydia's can be fixed, she knows this. knows that the pieces are there she just has to rearrange them back where they should be. the pieces are red and yellow and orange and make up a puzzle that is a sun. ( that is the poetic way to say it, reality is— not nearly as pretty. ) ]
I'm Lydia Martin. And I'm still me. No matter what happens. He can't take that away from me.
video » locked » with our powers combined, ally.
No matter what happens. You hold the match.
video » locked » we make the most beautiful threads. c:
I'll come tell you when I toss the match. [ a beat. ] Thank you.
video » locked » i heartily concur. C:
I'll be waiting.