thoughts | [ ic; contact: ataraxion ]

Lady River? Can you hear me?

My Lord.

[ she's curtsying, even though the video is off ! ]

I was just checking on you to make sure that you'd settled in alright. Making sure you were resting well, eating properly. That sort of thing.

Nǐ bùyòng tài dānxīn, māmā.

[ but all he'll probably get is the 'mama' and all she'll get is Simon. a beat of silence, and she hums noncommittally. ]

She's okay. Simon makes sure, starts fretting. A mother hen, like you.

[ even if it only works in some measure. ]

How are you and your prat?

[Mother hen. Merlin grins at that, even if she can't see it. Arthur calls him that too sometimes.]

Oh, my prat's terrible. But he was before he came here too, so I can't blame that on the ship.

Some things can't change. Set in stone. Others -

[ she sniffles. ]

Eating properly?

[ you're not letting him get fat, are you. ]

[ lydia is good with numbers, lydia remembers river's numbers because river asked if she was afraid and lydia— that was a while ago, wasn't it? before breakdowns and admissions of half of what happened to her and— ]

River?

[ can you remember who i am? ]

Martin.

[ river remembers numbers. names and faces too, ones she's never seen before and the masks they wear. hers are beautiful; both faces and both masks. both names. ]

Lydia.

Lydia first.

[ because lydia is a strong girl and lydia feels stronger than she has in ages and it feels so exhilarating to feel like that again. ( you cannot defeat a true queen unless you kill her. ) ]

Are you afraid, River?

[ she's bright right now. caught the sunlight in her hands and is holding fast. river watches in silence for a second before deciding on an answer. ]

No. [ there's a light. for now. lydia first. ] Are you?

[ river sees it as sunlight and lydia feels like it's fire. fire that came roaring from the tiny embers that were almost stomped out. fire that will burn peter hale once again. ]

Not really. [ there's still peter sitting there alive, but even when he tries to blow out the fire, he can't, it still stays roaring, inching closer and closer to him until— ] You understand this.

Yes.

[ until the sky catches flame. what is a sun but self-sufficient fire? the perfect collision, a chain reaction of events that all lead to the brightest star in a system. to the spirit she'd lacked for a long time. ]

You found your feet, and now you're standing. You're almost there.

[ almost to the end of the beginning. next chapter just has to turn the page. ]

[ it's a fire that will forever burn bright until it puts itself out eventually. but lydia is young, just like the sun, she has time to burn and burn and destroy those who come too close. ]

You won't tell anyone, will you? The one who'd push me down needs to not know I'm standing. Not without his permission.

Hey, Crazy.

[ Beat. This is... awkward and uncharacteristic of him and he knows it, and he's not all that broken up about the pirates being shot (Fields wasn't one of them, must have died some other way, and he hopes it was a good death), but he figures River might be.

That or all the commotion and violence made her start flipping out. ]

You doin' okay?

Won't. She's good at keeping secrets.

[ and she knows the importance of feet. barely found her own and still stumbling beneath the weight of things she can't see on her shoulders. good at keeping secrets because she doesn't know the things she knows - but river knows the sun intimately. she smiles. ]

Time to push back?

[ for her part, river gave a flinch to smiley's video. just a jerk, away, which is proper. right.

but it didn't scare her. there might be something about that. bothers her more than blood on fingertips that weren't meant to touch; she's still staring at them when she answers, kind of distractedly. ]

It's loud.

[ but wait - he's asking. there's something about that too. her voice gets closer, like she's trying to find him inside the comm device. ]

Are you?

Whole ruttin' ship is loud, [ he agrees; it's not, most days, eerily quiet when you move by rooms that no one occupies, but the network is. People are in an uproar, both on and off the communicators. Jayne's smart enough to know that. ]

Guess we know the captain don't fuck around on this boat, [ he adds after a moment, surprise lingering in his voice. He had asked, but he hadn't expected her to ask back. Core politeness, maybe. ] Ain't like we didn't know this place weren't right. Ain't like we didn't know there'd be blood, neither.

[ There's always blood, the places they go. That's what makes them different from the rest of the crew. ]

The blood's not right.

[ they're all going to die here, this is a fact river knows ( thinks? are they the same anymore? ), but it's not right. ]

They changed it, you know. The blood. And then they all die screaming. Is a city still a city when the people are all dead?

Changed the blood? Didn't know blood could be changed.

[ He'll just play along for a bit. Jayne had been the one to ask after her, after all. ]

Guess so. Just ain't a city with people in it, 'less the planet takes it back, but that takes a while, don't it?

It - can't. It's not supposed to.

[ it confuses her. this entire ship confuses her, because it's not supposed to work that way. they broke something somewhere along the way, and now the blood is different. ]

Can take several centuries to lose the buildings, but that doesn't get rid of the ghosts. History leaves stains.

[ Jayne just grunts, quiet for a moment as he puzzles over her words. ]

Well, wait. [ There's a bit of a noise, like he's scratching at his facial hair. ] Ain't a blood transfusion kinda like changin' blood? Since it's not yours, an' all that.

It's a blood type. Has to match or the body won't take. The cells are different and they'll attack, force it out. It's not pretty.

Ain't there them universal [ you-knee-versal ] types, though? Them don't match exactly.

[ someone's got a cheeky smile on, if you can't hear it. ]

Been listening to Simon? [ so cute. ] It's not the same. It's a blanket, not a wrench.

Been patched up once or twice. [ That doesn't count as listening. ]

So the blood's changed for real, then. [ He had hoped he could find some way to reassure River, because then that might reassure him. Unfortunately... nothing, and there's a note of concern in his voice. ] Ain't gonna be fought off like no infection, are we?

[ ic; contact: ataraxion ]

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audio; you're on hiatus but i wanted to do this but TAKE YOUR TIME

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audio; you are awful and i love you

audio; :3 i love you too

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