![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[It's all so complicated, isn't it? What isn't is this: he still cares about her, even from a distance.]
River. Good name. Where'd Serenity come from, if it's not prying?
You're not in the Free Cities, are you?
River. Good name. Where'd Serenity come from, if it's not prying?
You're not in the Free Cities, are you?
[ it is slightly prying because she feels a little embarrassed by it, but he is an old - friend? brother figure? what can they call the nature of their bond when they are virtual strangers to each other, but the emotional tethers remain?
it's complicated. but at least she can start by answering his questions. ]
she's a ship. a spaceship. midbook transport, firefly class serenity. no relation.
[ lol get it ]
we're in thorne. it was nice to see the free cities for the first time, even if it wasn't real. probably won't happen again but there's nocwich.
[ in terms of seeing each other again, that is, if he was ever interested in such a thing. ]
it's complicated. but at least she can start by answering his questions. ]
she's a ship. a spaceship. midbook transport, firefly class serenity. no relation.
[ lol get it ]
we're in thorne. it was nice to see the free cities for the first time, even if it wasn't real. probably won't happen again but there's nocwich.
[ in terms of seeing each other again, that is, if he was ever interested in such a thing. ]
Yes. I believe that is what he thinks. We don't know what the other gods' opinion is.
[ Rousma seems delighted when River plays along. Sitting up again she continues to giggle, offering alternating paws to River, like a girl trying to play a clapping game. ]
I forgives my Ravishan. He and me, me and mines.
[ Kahlil gives a small huff, relaxing with another smile as he watches them. ]
River - had you been to Horizon before? [ Before their 800 year dream. He vaguely recalls her oracle domain, but he's sure he hasn't seen one that belongs to her now that they're back. ]
I forgives my Ravishan. He and me, me and mines.
[ Kahlil gives a small huff, relaxing with another smile as he watches them. ]
River - had you been to Horizon before? [ Before their 800 year dream. He vaguely recalls her oracle domain, but he's sure he hasn't seen one that belongs to her now that they're back. ]
I think he's right. I've suspected this for a long time. The way we are connected to the Singularity and the powers it gives us, it's changing us. I think that vision of the future was accurate, about what we have in front of us.
A spaceship? So: nothing like a steam ship, then? I'm more familiar with those, I've seen plenty of them on the Thames, but I've never heard of a spaceship until now.
[He's from the reign of Queen Victoria. Steam ships are as good as it gets.]
It might not have been real, but some of it felt real enough to me. [Like the relationships between him and those he saw as his friends.] I know Nocwich. City full of vampires, is it? I've been there before, in that false future.
[He's from the reign of Queen Victoria. Steam ships are as good as it gets.]
It might not have been real, but some of it felt real enough to me. [Like the relationships between him and those he saw as his friends.] I know Nocwich. City full of vampires, is it? I've been there before, in that false future.
[ the notion of that being the future that lies ahead of them fills her mind with the same inner turmoil that has kept her locked away from everyone for these last several days. thunder crackles and rain pours, but she still manages to push her thoughts out toward istredd through it all, even if it comes as a harsh whisper. ]
I... I don't want that. It wasn't good.
I... I don't want that. It wasn't good.
Accurate in terms of us gaining power. What we do with it is still up to us, and now we know what we do and don't want in the future. We can mold it better.
You won't. We'll get ahead of it this time, we'll be prepared. Think of all that we learned from experiencing it, and how we can change our path because of it. You won't be Serenity. You might not even be the same god, with the same dominion. Everything we do changes what happens next.
I don't know. It's possible. But people go home all the time too. There is no rhyme or reason that we can track.
It's too much. It's - there are too many variables. It's completely irrational - there's no rationalizing it. Eight hundred years is a theoretical framework of time in a world that never existed, but then they say it's been three weeks instead and what is that supposed to mean? How can we know any of this is real? What if we're still dreaming?
[ and there she goes, spiraling off into her existential dread with all the angst of a teenage girl whose reality has been manipulated once before. ]
[ and there she goes, spiraling off into her existential dread with all the angst of a teenage girl whose reality has been manipulated once before. ]
[ she's content to play along with their clapping game, keeping her eyes on rousma even when kyle asks her a good question. maybe it's a little bit of a distraction as she tries to make sense of everything too. it feels like so long ago. ]
Yes, but... only with someone else to lead the way. I kept getting lost in the noise. It's still loud, but now...
[ river looks up to kyle, then over to the temple and the beautiful environment he has built within his domain. she seems somewhere between wistful, sad, and on some level, a little afraid. ]
Now it's like knowing the way home.
Yes, but... only with someone else to lead the way. I kept getting lost in the noise. It's still loud, but now...
[ river looks up to kyle, then over to the temple and the beautiful environment he has built within his domain. she seems somewhere between wistful, sad, and on some level, a little afraid. ]
Now it's like knowing the way home.
River. Breathe in and out. Ground yourself in the here and now. Pinch yourself, if you must. There is no rationalizing what happened to us there, but there is rational in the life we are experiencing now. Not knowing what might happen in the future has always been true of all of us with finite existences, the path could go anywhere. It doesn't mean any of that will happen.
steamships declined in popularity in the 1950s following world war II. the first successful spacecraft carried a man into earth's orbit in 1961. then the thames ran black and we left earth-that-was for another star system in 2097.
[ random information dumps are much more her speed than strange traumatic magic happenstances! ]
vampires and werewolves. they're not very friendly neighbors. ikorr drove luna out and they fled to solvunn. i don't know if it's good or bad but it was sad to see.
[ random information dumps are much more her speed than strange traumatic magic happenstances! ]
vampires and werewolves. they're not very friendly neighbors. ikorr drove luna out and they fled to solvunn. i don't know if it's good or bad but it was sad to see.
[ He follows her gaze, brow furrowing. Rousma stops her pawing-clapping and flops on her side in the grass again, rolling on her back a few times and chomping lazily on clovers. The ground is warm from the sun above them. ]
This place changes us. [ As they suspected before, and well know now. He frowns a little at the structure he created, the temple that sprung from his mind the first time he entered Horizon, his mind supposedly blank. He feels at his strongest and most confident in his domain - most of the time. Home might be close. ]
I feel drawn here more often lately, since we got back. [ This time, his attention is drawn to something unseen, beyond the boundary of his domain. He knows he's looking in the direction of the Singularity, where it sits at the center of the space. Maybe she knows, and he asks: ]
Is that what you feel, too?
This place changes us. [ As they suspected before, and well know now. He frowns a little at the structure he created, the temple that sprung from his mind the first time he entered Horizon, his mind supposedly blank. He feels at his strongest and most confident in his domain - most of the time. Home might be close. ]
I feel drawn here more often lately, since we got back. [ This time, his attention is drawn to something unseen, beyond the boundary of his domain. He knows he's looking in the direction of the Singularity, where it sits at the center of the space. Maybe she knows, and he asks: ]
Is that what you feel, too?
There's two wars that catch the whole world up in their grasp? The Thames ran black? Bloody hell, I can barely believe it—I only just laid eyes on an internal combustion engine this year.
1961, really? It's a shame I won't live that long, I'd love to see it.
[Movies and spaceships—damn it, Jacob kind of wishes he were born much later than he was, if only to see these things happening in real time.]
Territorial dispute, right? I know a quick way to solve that, but I'm not sure if that would work out here as well as it did for me and my Rooks back in London.
1961, really? It's a shame I won't live that long, I'd love to see it.
[Movies and spaceships—damn it, Jacob kind of wishes he were born much later than he was, if only to see these things happening in real time.]
Territorial dispute, right? I know a quick way to solve that, but I'm not sure if that would work out here as well as it did for me and my Rooks back in London.
[ she knows. river follows kyle's gaze and knows it's there, that stone monolith that felt like the center of the universe when she forgot that this isn't the only one. ]
Yes.
[ this place changes us. maybe that explains why she feels so different now. river continues to stare in the singularity's direction with a look of consternation on her face as she tries to make sense of it all. ]
I spent most of the dream here. I didn't - don't fit anywhere else. In my 'verse, or in Thorne, or Abraxas. The Horizon was comfortable, or comforting.
[ even if she still knew something was missing. finally, she turns back to kyle, frowning almost guiltily. ]
It's not home. But... it feels close. I - I think I miss it.
[ is that bad? ]
Yes.
[ this place changes us. maybe that explains why she feels so different now. river continues to stare in the singularity's direction with a look of consternation on her face as she tries to make sense of it all. ]
I spent most of the dream here. I didn't - don't fit anywhere else. In my 'verse, or in Thorne, or Abraxas. The Horizon was comfortable, or comforting.
[ even if she still knew something was missing. finally, she turns back to kyle, frowning almost guiltily. ]
It's not home. But... it feels close. I - I think I miss it.
[ is that bad? ]
[ It's rarer for the Doctor's body to need sleep, and rarer still for his chaotic mind to settle long enough to drift towards anything at all resembling actual restorative slumber. But when he does sleep, he dreams. And those dreams are vivid, interwoven tapestries — sometimes memories, things or people lost, places he wants to go and things he wants to do.
More often than not, though, he dreams of the stars that have always called him home. He's not only looking for River (Serenity) when he comes here and perches on a star, but he hopes he'll find her, that their dreams might align. That for a moment, they might meet again, after years upon years of knowing each other that weren't real (but were).
He'll wait a while and keep the stars on until she comes. If she comes. ]
More often than not, though, he dreams of the stars that have always called him home. He's not only looking for River (Serenity) when he comes here and perches on a star, but he hopes he'll find her, that their dreams might align. That for a moment, they might meet again, after years upon years of knowing each other that weren't real (but were).
He'll wait a while and keep the stars on until she comes. If she comes. ]
Because we have to go on. If we can't accept the world as it presents itself to us, and the path we must follow from here, it would be easy to be paralyzed in place. But we have to live with the pain and the confusion. There is no other way.
[ He takes in her admission, her guilty expression and frowns thoughtfully, now glancing at the running stream as the sunlight plays against the water's surface. ]
We have control here, of everything - [ then, in concession: ] most of the time, anyway.
[ Excepting the times when the Singularity was unstable, or when the gods have meddled. That control is safety, and safety is a comfort. He imagines it might be doubly so for someone like River. ]
I think it wants us to feel comfort, the Singularity. I don't know why, but when I've visited it lately - I feel like it's reaching out more than it used to - I can almost feel it, like... a friend putting a hand on my shoulder.
[ He gives her an odd look. Is it bad? He's not entirely sure. But he thinks he understands, at least a little, how she feels. ]
We have control here, of everything - [ then, in concession: ] most of the time, anyway.
[ Excepting the times when the Singularity was unstable, or when the gods have meddled. That control is safety, and safety is a comfort. He imagines it might be doubly so for someone like River. ]
I think it wants us to feel comfort, the Singularity. I don't know why, but when I've visited it lately - I feel like it's reaching out more than it used to - I can almost feel it, like... a friend putting a hand on my shoulder.
[ He gives her an odd look. Is it bad? He's not entirely sure. But he thinks he understands, at least a little, how she feels. ]
Page 4 of 7